Troubled Teens

What is a "troubled teen"?  When should a parent seek professional help for their teen?  What kinds of help are available for teens and their families?  While there are no standard answers to these questions, I will answer them to the best of my abilities based on my experiences working with teens and their families.  

It's true that most teens will get into trouble throughout their adolescent years.  This does not mean that all teens are "troubled" though and need to be rushed to a counselor's office.  Most teens and families will be able to summon the resources within their household to redirect most adolescent behavior but some will will need assistance.  The adolescent years are a time of immense development strain on youth.  During these years, the individual will grow from a dependent, whimsically-thinking child to an independent, practical and solution-oriented thinker.  We hope.  This metamorphosis is no less amazing than the caterpillar turning into the butterfly.  Essentially, adolescence is a period of gaining control of one's life. Therefore, a troubled adolescent is one who is unable to successfully navigate the developmental tasks of adolescence and gain control of their life.  

Developmental tasks of adolescence include identity formation, management of emotions, preparation for occupation, and learning to function in intimate relationships. 

I have come to believe that the essence of maturity is the ability to tolerate frustration.  Teens who learn to tolerate frustration are able to wake up early in the morning, go to school and sit through a full day of school.  They then attend athletic practice or extracurricular activities and are home on time to sit through a family dinner.  After dinner they are able to complete their homework assignments, household chores and prepare themselves for the next day by going to bed at an appropriate time.  On weekends, they might hold a part-time job and then spend time with their friends in the evening.  While spending time with peers, they tolerate the awkwardness that can be a part of social settings. They do this without resorting to the social lubricants of alcohol and drugs and are able to follow the curfew set by their parents.  They make these sacrifices because they have come to understand that with sacrifice comes greater independence, trust and opportunity.  

The troubled teen has not yet developed this capacity for tolerance of frustration or uncomfortable feelings.  As a result when uncomfortable feelings arise they are unable to work their way through them and will find dysfunctional ways of alleviating this pain.  Troubled teens can be identified by the behaviors they present.  For example, troubled teens may not be able or willing to wake up in the morning, stay in school for the entire day,  follow the curfews set by parents, maintain employment, and ultimately respond to redirection measures mandated by parents, school personnel and the legal/juvenile system.  These behaviors may be accompanied by the use of drugs and alcohol on a regular basis.  If a parent recognizes that their son or daughter is no longer responding to their parenting, it might be too late since often adolescents at this point will refuse to go to counseling or cooperate in any way with counseling.  The time for parents to seek professional assessment is when the behaviors first begin to present.  

• The first signs of school problems such as failing grades, insubordination to administration and skipping classes.

• The first signs of substance use.

• The first signs of defiance to parental requests.

• The first signs of anger management problems such as fighting with peers, putting holes in walls and being unable to talk through problems without yelling and screaming.

• The first signs of legal problems.

Parents should look for the beginning of consistent patterns of these behaviors and seek professional help to assess the nature of the problem.  Professional help can provide assistance in creating a structure that will help their son or daughter respond more favorably to normal teenage stressors.

What is this "structure"?

Too often adolescent therapy consists of parents dropping their child off at the therapist's office and returning in a hour to pick them up. Parents often expect the therapist to uncover some hidden secret to why their child misbehaves.  However, therapy typically does not work this way with adolescents.  I am not saying it can't work this way, but there are methods that offer greater chances of success.  

I believe in working closely with families to empower parents to create and enforce a structure that supports the emotional growth of their teenager.  After complete assessment of your son or daughter, if indicated, we will implement behavior plans, school progress notes, drug and alcohol testing and individual and family psychotherapy.  If this structure fails to gain positive results, we will discuss more intensive treatment such as therapeutic boarding schools and wilderness programs.  We will work together to help your son or daughter reach the developmental milestones that are critical for their successful transition into adulthood.  We will realize positive results because as parents, you will want nothing less for your child.

Additional information can be found through these links:

http://www.troubledteen101.com/articles9.html

http://www.4troubledteens.com/troubledteen.html

http://www.toughlove.org/

http://www.strugglingteens.com/

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